Members of People First Public Benefit Society with various disabilities write about how you can help “well”.
If you read it, please pass it on!

for someone with a physical disability

The most important thing is to never do anything without asking first!

The “rush into and push without thinking” boost can result in an accident. It’s easier to tip someone out of a wheelchair than you might think. First, ask if they need any assistance, and if so, how you can help.

What should you keep in mind if the person is using a cane or a wheelchair? It’s not a silly question to ask how a wheelchair “works.”

Pay attention to the surroundings. Curbs, slopes, potholes, and stairs can all be challenging.

But the most important thing is communication. The disabled person will be able to tell you how you can help. Some people may have speech that’s harder to understand, but they have their own way of communicating. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be out on their own.

for someone with a hearing impairment

1. Try to catch the attention of the deaf or hard-of-hearing person. Address them directly and try to make eye contact. If this isn’t possible, gently touch their shoulder.
2. Position yourself properly! Stand directly in front of the person, a bit further away than usual (about 1.5-2 meters), so that not only your face but also other elements of your body language (such as your hand gestures) are more visible. Make sure you’re facing the light source, so your face is well-lit and shadow-free.
3. Indicate what you want to talk about! For those who lip-read, knowing the topic helps them identify words more easily. If you change topics, let them know!
4. Speak clearly and understandably! Don’t raise your voice, as this changes your mouth’s movements and makes lip-reading more difficult. Keep a normal loudness, but try to listen for clear pronunciation. Use shorter, simpler sentences. Speak a bit more slowly, pausing slightly longer, as it takes extra time for people with hearing impairments to interpret cues from lip movements, body language, and context.
5. Maintain eye contact! Facial expressions and lip movements are crucial for most people with hearing loss (also for many people who are hard of hearing), so make sure these are visible. Don’t look down at your phone or turn away when pointing.
6. Use your body! You can communicate a lot with facial expressions, gestures, and a bit of pantomime, so feel free to use these. For example, raise your eyebrows if you’re asking a question. Keep gestures clear, though avoid exaggeration.
7. Check for understanding! Periodically confirm that the person has understood you. Ask questions that require more than yes or no answers (Do you understand me?), feel free to ask a question that needs to be answered with a few words or gestures (e.g. So, how many copies of the documents are needed?).
8. If communication fails, switch to writing, using paper and pen or a smartphone.

Communicating with an interpreter

1. Always face the deaf person during the conversation, not the interpreter!
2. Keep in mind that interpreters relay information with a slight delay. Pause to allow time for the interpreter to convey new information.

Source: How to communicate with a hearing-impaired person

for someone with a visual impairment

With visually impaired individuals it’s also essential to ask everything! First, ask if they need assistance? If the answer yes, and he or she has told you what we can do to help, the next and most important question is: how can we help?

Not all visually impaired individuals are the same, and we may prefer different types of assistance. Two common ways are linking arms with the guide or placing a hand on the guide’s shoulder.

What is also important is that the visually impaired person does not see that the prospective helper wants to talk to them. The simplest way to do this (because you don’t necessarily know his/her name the first time you meet him/her as a stranger on the street) is to gently touch them on the shoulder or elbow.

Also, don’t be scared because the visually impaired person doesn’t make eye contact with us, turn to them, because they feel that we are listening to them as we talk to them.

In summary: never assist without asking, as this can create awkward situations.
Let me give a typical personal example: I’m standing at a crosswalk, a stranger walks up to me, grabs my hand without question, or just grabs my clothes, and starts dragging me across the crosswalk. I may not have wanted to cross; I could have been waiting for someone. I was waiting for a friend, for example. Therefore, always ask the visually impaired person what they want and whether they need help at all, and never drag them along, don’t push them by the shoulders.

Finally, if the person declines assistance, don’t be offended; they may be able to manage independently and aren’t rejecting you personally.

for someone with autism

In the case of events, I think it is most helpful for the autistic participant to have online, visual orientation, to have the opportunity to contact the facilitators before the event.

We are also diverse. Specific needs can be discussed during a preliminary orientation. Please note: it is not a problem at all for a person with autism to wear sound filtering devices, or to avoid activities that smell unpleasant and involve touch fingers.

When giving directions, use visual cues: instead of “go straight for 100 meters and turn left,” say, “go straight and look for the sign by the pier” or “the brown wooden building is the Medvehagyma House; you’ll find the program there.” You may need to accompany them. This type of guidance can often help non-autistic people as well.

Unless absolutely necessary, DO NOT touch and DO NOT force eye contact.

If I “stim” (like hand-flapping, rocking, or swaying), there’s nothing to be afraid of – and it’s forbidden to stop it, to hold it down. This is how I feel happy/excited/working off a lot of stimuli/relaxing. Harmful stims (like head-banging or biting) should be gently redirected; find my companion if you need help.

If I seem to need help, avoid touching me and don’t force eye contact. If you know my name (from a name tag, for example), use it to get my attention, ask me to try to listen to you, ask me what you can do for me. If I’m overstimulated or in distress, take care of me, so that I don’t have an accident, so that I don’t harm myself or others – but at the same time be gentle. Find my support person, if possible. Guide me to a quiet place. If you need it, look after me until my helper arrives or until I feel better. Please keep well-meaning but uninformed people (also) away from me.

Encourage a “bear hug”. This means you have to hold it very tightly (but not to the point of cracking) over a large surface area. My favorite is when my helper holds me against his chest and puts as much pressure as he can on my back and upper arms with his arms. Many of us like a bit of pressure on our backs and upper arms (weighted blanket, weight vest, a nice soft blanket, a bear hug, a gentle massaging).

It’s often helpful if you keep your communication simple, logical, and clear, without speaking too fast. Some of us may stare at your mouth to lip-read, especially when background noise makes it hard to understand. If we make faces, we’re just concentrating.

Wait for us to process information before you share more.

We might not talk with our mouths, but with pointing, cards, apps, sign language, writing. This may be unusual, but it can be recognised and understood. If you’re unfamiliar with our communication style, use your own method as described above (simple, easy to understand, but not baby talk).

for someone with an intellectual disability

When speaking with a person with an intellectual disability, express yourself simply and enunciate clearly. Discuss only one thing at a time, using short, straightforward sentences.

Check if they’re following what you’re saying. If he’s slow to do what we ask, wait patiently and encourage him that he can do it.

Of course, it all depends on the severity of the disability. Above all, kindness, attention, and compassion are key!

❤️Many thanks to the disabled members of our association for their professional training based on their own experience:

Gergő Berkes,
Krisztina Koltai,
Evelin Almádi,
Hilda Kerekes,
Szandra Hegedűs